If you define yourself by your opinions, questioning them is a threat to your integrity. (Adam Grant)

Boy, do I run into a lot of defensiveness. Usability feedback almost always seem to generate some personal sensitivity. Heck, if this was my quote, I'd probably substitute "self" for "integrity."

But that’s understood. The design I might have been testing is usually at least somebody’s baby. And nobody likes it when their baby gets called ugly.

Now, I do try to mitigate that by including positive results as well; by being diplomatic with feedback overall; and by making sure that any feedback is backed up by numbers, quotes, and clips (and triangulation with other findings, and 3rd party research, and whatever else I can muster …).

There are some team members, though, who seem to always take user feedback as a personal affront. Over the years, though, I have sensed an inverse correlation between a designer or content person’s skill/experience/maturity and their likelihood of being offended. In fact, I’ve often joked that the best of these folks can’t wait to get something in front of users, while the worst will do everything in their power to make sure testing doesn’t happen (or that the results get ignored).

I guess my advice for the latter would be two-fold. First, have some basis for your design or content. Don’t just dash off and come up with something “kewl.” Have some reason why you’re using a new layout, or why you’re fore-fronting that particular bit of content or, really, any decision that you’ve had to make. Show that you’ve actually thought about this, that you’ve considered things from multiple sides, that you’ve done your homework. 

And as Grant points out, one of the best things you can do in this regard is to question your own opinions yourself. Don’t just wait for others to weigh in. 

Now, be sure to be open to others’ feedback as well. But, if you’ve already anticipated some of that, you’ll probably find yourself a lot less defensive, as well as a lot more confident in your opinions (and with good reason, this time!). And remember, it’s not about justification! It’s about being well-informed, and being able to engage in a good give-and-take.

Second, nothing is set in stone. Sure, you’ve probably come up with something pretty decent. Others, though, might be able to catch something you overlooked. And though peers, management, clients, and SMEs are important here (crits can be great), definitely don’t ignore the user.  

In fact, try to simply start thinking of them first. I’ve found that if you get that part right, it’s a lot easier to convince the other stakeholders as well. In general, all the other pieces just seem to fall into place.

Finally, just remember that your opinion is not you. Actually, another way to think about that is a little counter-intuitive … Your opinion should be a lot like you, an ideal you – open-minded, dynamic, open to change, ever evolving.

Adam is a prof at Wharton Biz School, where he specializes in organizational psychology